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Does sincerity motivate the girl who leads a guy along then breaks up with him when she finds someone better? In recent years, I've tried to let sincere and intelligent love guide me, and as I've done this, I've come to some pretty intense conclusions for my life.I've come to realize that I have no business asking for a girl's heart and affections if I'm not ready to back up my request with a lifelong commitment. But with what I've learned as I've sought God's will for my life, I know that a relationship right now wouldn't be best for me or for the one I'd date. God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. " This is the awesome part: When we make God's glory and other people's needs our priority, we position ourselves to receive God's best in our lives as well. In the past I made the starting point of my relationships what I wanted instead of what God wanted. I not only hurt others, I hurt myself, and, most seriously, I sinned against God.Now, for the first time since its release, the national #1 bestseller has been expanded with new content and updated for new readers. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude. But I still feel the ache of having given away my heart to too many girls in my past.Honest and practical, it challenges cultural assumptions about relationships and provides solid, biblical alternatives to society's norm. Chapter One Smart Love Beyond What Feels Good, Back to What Is Good It was finally here Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. "But then I was struck with this sickening thought: How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? That's Just the Way It Is Growing up, I considered dating an essential part of the complete teenage experience. This started in junior high when my peers and I treated dating as a game, a chance to play at love and experiment with relationships.A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. One girl I knew had the fastest breakup routine ever: When she was ready to end a relationship, she'd say, "Skippy-bop, you just got dropped." But soon, just saying you were going out with someone wasn't enough.
I wanted God's best but hadn't been willing to play by His rules.
Even in church we played the dating game with passionmore passion, I regret to say, than we gave to worshiping or listening to sermons. But, like many high school relationships, our romance was prematuretoo much, too soon.
During Sunday morning services we passed notes about who liked whom, who was going out with whom, and who had broken up with whom. We began to struggle with the physical side of our relationship.
Wednesday night youth group meetings served as our own opportunities to play "Love Connection," a game that resulted in broken hearts littering the foyer. Since I was the only one in the youth group who had the nerve to talk to her, she wound up liking me. After my folks were asleep, Kelly and I would spend hours on the phone, often late into the night, talking about everything and nothing in particular. We knew we couldn't be as close physically as we were emotionally. "No, it's over." We broke up two years after we'd met. Something Better I was seventeen years old when my relationship with Kelly ended. " God answered that plea, but not in the way I had expected.
In my sophomore year, my involvement in the dating game took a more serious turn. She was beautiful, blonde, and two inches taller than I. I asked her to be my girlfriend on the youth group's water ski retreat. Everyone in our youth group recognized us as a couple. As a result, we experienced ongoing tension, and it wore on us. "We have to break up," I said to her one night after a movie. "Is there any chance we can have something in the future? My dreams of romance had ended in compromise, bitterness, and regret. " I felt discouraged, confused, and desperate for an alternative to the cycle of short-term relationships in which I found myself. I thought He'd bring me the ideal girlfriend or totally remove my desire for romance.