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If you’re serious, here are some suggestions for making an exit that focuses on self-care. Whatever story he has told you about why he’s with both of you, the cold hard truth is that he has chosen not to leave because having the best of both worlds is what he chooses. Blaming her for his infidelity and blaming you for why he hasn’t left ignores the bigger picture of the real issues. I know that I never saw myself as a sideline woman, no matter how low my self-esteem was. This is a good time to think about your short-, medium- and long-term goals, as well as your values. If you can afford it, go away for a few days or a week to somewhere nice or go and stay with friends and family. Stop being where he expects you to be and break whatever routine you have. There is someone in your life who can and will be empathetic and support you with your exit.

Think very hard about whether you want to continue living on the fringes and in the shadows of his life? Is this affair taking you towards your needs, expectations, and wishes or is this taking you in the opposite direction? Remember that occasions like birthdays, Christmas, New Years won’t have to be spent waiting for his call or snatching a moment together. Turn off your phone and let the important people know where you are so that you don’t worry. When I speak to women involved with attached men, whether they realise it or not, they are almost always in a tight routine. A confidante gives you a sanity check but also gives you a rock of support.

Put both feet in reality and get real about who you have really been. Also keep a note of all of the reasons why you’ve broken up and the disappointments – refer to this list when you’re tempted to revisit the affair. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.

If you were that happy, you wouldn’t be reading this and you wouldn’t be breaking up.

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Look back at your diary, think back to specifics and there are probably a lot of times when you were lonely, disappointed, insecure, sidelined, teary, clingy, frustrated, angry, too dependent, listless and much more. It can be a shock to discover that your situation isn’t unique and that it’s not about you not being ‘enough’ why this person hasn’t left. This post has been republished due to the very high volume of comments on the original post creating technical issues such as slowing down the site and preventing the original post from being reloaded. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

Often, a younger guy and an older woman would “decide” upfront that their relationship will be casual, and that they should not expect any commitment from each other, because they know that the end of that relationship is inevitable because of the seemingly irreconcilable age difference.

Ironically however, as their relationship is not clouded by fears and complications of commitment, long-term relationships and related issues.

There are some other compelling reasons for why older women are more attractive to younger guys.

And of course, it’s not a secret that women in their thirties and forties have a much higher sex driver than the ones in their twenties.

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