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So it's not easy, but if it's really important to both of you, and both of you work at it, it can have a good outcome.Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles?But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.

PS: No you don't, although there are some great 80-year-olds out there!

On the other hand, if you went with a buddy, you could have fun even if there was nobody interesting there.

So if you have a friend who will make any trip interesting no matter what, then give it a shot.

So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.

Question from Fran in San Fran: You don't mention a lot about homosexuals dating. Of course there are some differences, and I would be sensitive to those differences. Join singles groups that do the activities you love.

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