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You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr. and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.

Trying to be someone who is diametrically opposed to who you are inside is a recipe for frustration and failure.

Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.

Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…

They could be swapped out for the nearest stranger.

Nobody likes feeling like an interchangeable, anonymous cog, easily replaceable and ultimately unmemorable.

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